Living From a Place of Surrender

Vulnerability.

The real, the raw, the depths.

Grief, pain, heartache and surrendering.

This season of Autumn where the natural cycle of shedding is upon us. Feel all the feels. To me, to feel is to heal. To feel myself, to feel others in that raw tender state of surrender. Let go of any judgment you may carry around this and allow it to flood through, let those waters flow.

Crying has the same release as laughter.

Why have so many (myself included) shared before that we kept in what's true for us or shut ourselves when it comes to wanting to share/express our needs, our values and what feels right for us. What can be such a beautiful expression and show such integrity of oneself. Oh how I love to feel that release in whatever form. I love to express myself in all the ways. Creation is an expression of art, dance, music, movement, bringing something into existence. Art is an expression of creativity and we are all artists. That vulnerability of depth that then comes through your expressions of your art, is beautiful.

Photography - Mikaela Rackham

We all have our own waters, there is no comparison, yet to just see and witness the beauty in all our waves and colours. Let me tell you something, there will be some dams being opened in this season. In showing up in all our colours, the truth seekers, the divine feminine energy lifting, like the phoenix rising from the ashes. In speaking up and sharing from those spaces. Maybe you haven't felt safe to do so or when you have it hasn't felt received and welcomed. Knowing the art of ways in which to express your emotions does wonders, how to work with them, express them in healthy safe ways and also having others that support and are able to hold that space for you. That safety comes from within us, learning how to take responsibility for ourselves and learning how to feel safe within ourselves.

I know my depth and intimacy isn't for everyone and that's ok, for a long time I was challenged by this. I know I am here to be an expression of self love and self acceptance and why this is such a passion of mine. My life is a life of passion and following my feelings and I have been guided on all sorts of adventures with this.!. Whilst also bringing the opportunity for myself to go within as most recently I began and am embarking on a deep lesson of communication and how to work with my emotions, an ongoing life lesson for me. Forever the student, as I continue to recognise the strength I have within my depths, my expressions and emotions and when doing it from a space of clarity whoooaaaa the power in that (thank you human design) I can be wild and still grounded, fierce yet gentle, charming and ferocious, strong and deeply compassionate and all the in-betweens. This is not a one size fits all type of world. We are so individually unique, and the more we get to know ourselves the better we can be to ourselves, for each other, to co create and for the planet.

I realised a long time ago I needed to commit to truly, loving and accepting all of myself. For how I courageously continue to explore the limitless creative expression that exists within me. As this continues to build and grow, I dive deeper into my depths and vulnerability, creating strength, an anchor and pillar that I stand strong with. I continue to open my heart lovingly to myself and others and all that I am, to be curious, to have this powerful connection with spirit, to nurture and nourish my needs, to fearlessly continue to step into those unknown spaces with bravery, knowing this is where my transformation happens. Stepping more and more into my creative expression, this is where the magic is. For me the death and rebirth process brings such opportunities to open up to deep transformation that will bring new beginnings our way. This is a natural process in nature, just as the autumn leaves fall away, we allow ourselves to shed those parts of us as we continue on the path of evolution.

Photography - Mikaela Rackham

We as humans may find it a bit more difficult to navigate, maybe we don’t know how to feel, how to tune into our own bodies, so we turn to looking outside of ourselves, or we haven't been taught, or have the right tools to be able to feel safe in these spaces and processes. Going through a process of surrender is a transformation. Our bodies hold all the wisdom and whilst we can very easily find all the ways of ignoring it, distractions, or numbing it through alcohol, sex, drugs, food, constantly being busy, working all the time, the body knows and will continue to gently whisper to you.

Do you listen?

That whisper will continue to grow until it becomes a loud knocking.

How liberating and freeing it has been for me on my healing journey to allow myself to feel it all, whilst deeply uncomfortable at times, to fall in love with all parts of myself and love them all courageously. Now this has not always been easy, the inner critic in me wants to rear its head but I choose to observe and listen whilst lovingly asking her to change her tone and shift the way she speaks for that voice is no longer welcome in my field.

Nurture, nourish, lovingly all of you. Tend to your garden.

Letting go of what was, allows room and space for what’s to come. While it’s the space of the unknown, it would be pretty dull if we knew everything that was coming next. Can you allow yourself that sweet surrendering spot of grieving loss. Loss of old parts of you, of friendships, lovers, ex’s, partners, toxic habits, repetitive patterns, old ways. All of these with loving release, will make room and space for the new. Maybe those relationships and friendships will take on a new way and a different approach in how you relate with each other, maybe some will end, maybe some completely new relationships show up in your life, as I say... it's the unknown.

Can you entertain the idea that what's coming can be better than what's gone?

It’s not always easy being vulnerable, but for me personally it was sure harder pretending and holding it all in. Depression - pressing it all down also know as - deep rest. As with anything it's a practice and ritual and slowly over time it becomes easier. Yes it can be scary and uncomfortable bearing yourself naked to be seen, for others and for the world to see but for me this was the only way as I began walking this path of surrender many, many moons ago. Well there is always so much to share, let’s just say I don’t believe in coincidences and I feel so supported, I don't feel alone and never have, I know I am protected and looked after and I feel that so deeply in my spirit and in my soul. The more I do this, the more I connect and channel, now more than ever but that's a story for another day.

Some day it just happens, and what was once so painful just isn't anymore. That time where I could no longer wear a mask, live in fear, no longer could I live a life that didn’t feel right for me, pretending to myself, to others. Whilst also going through this process of transformation, others around you are also noticing and witnessing you as you change. This creates that ripple effect. Because we are always changing and evolving and it takes courage and bravery to really step into it and fully allow it. There have been times when I’ve been on the floor shaking, crying in such deep pain, through sadness, through grief, letting my body guide me to what it needs. Those times, a lot of them I am on my own, yet never alone. Underneath the anger, the rage, the suffering, so tender, so raw, so naked, underneath it all, there is such deep wisdom.

Even on the darkest days, the sun still rises.

I asked this full moon in Aries recently to bare it all to me, to allow the light to shine into my depths and darkness and it sure has done exactly that and now with this solar eclipse new moon in scorpio season upon us the deep dive and surrendering began. I wrote a poem on the day of the full moon. There's that saying 'be careful what you wish for.' It shows up in all the ways.

This new moon is asking us to take care of ourselves and do what we love, if you don’t look out for yourself, who will. It’s asking you to face your deepest desires, dive into the deep oceans of your emotions and see what lies beneath the surface. Magical opportunities could be waiting for you in those unchartered waters.

Can you grant yourself grace for what you are moving through, you don't have to do it perfectly or on your own. Embrace your growth and transformation.

Love and Blessings ❤️✨

If you need support, please, ask. The invitation is here for you.