New Beginnings

The end is just the beginning.

Do you know that feeling when something just feels so right? You may not know how exactly it's going to look, more than likely it turns out to be different to how you first entailed - a lot of the time even better, but you still just know?

In your heart of hearts you just have that inner tug, that pull, that feeling that just feels so true for you because it feels like home?

I love that feeling of passion and desire and today it really sparked up (thanks Aries season) as I allowed myself a bit of time to self reflect and go into that feeling more, it reignited that flame I had a year ago. As soon as lockdown hit, I just knew straight away that I was going to close my beauty business. I knew I had so much more of myself I needed to delve into and boy has that been a case of riding the waves. (having now found some calmer waters and flowed my way to the shoreline in the most euphoric way possible 🧜‍♀️)

I took the leap having NO idea what it was going to look like, I just trusted in myself and my inner knowing and slowly Bespoke Journey began to unfold.

I didn't have a plan, I just surrendered and put faith into myself, the universe, fate, god, divine timing, (whatever you want to call it or believe) and allowed my journey to unfold. I became an observer, watching my own story and choosing myself. Something I have always struggled to do, having put others ahead of myself then wondering why I'm the one feeling lost/stuck/stagnant at the end of it all. It has not been easy, yet at the same time it has been so unbelievably incredible with so many magical moments and this is me planting a seed to write a book on it all.

Photography - Mikalea Rackham

For those that know me at a deep level will have known the depths I have reached during this part of my journey, things I have read about before, yet gone through the experience myself, all whilst being at home on a lockdown not on some retreat somewhere - which is naturally how I envisioned it. There have been days where I have been so wiped out from the shifts and energies, days where I have felt so alone, to days where I just can’t wait to get moving forward with all of this and days when I can't contain my excitement that I just want to scream at the top of my lungs from the rooftops. Continuously watching my behaviour and patterns and how my life has unfolded the way it has, a beautiful adventure in my eyes. Yet there have been so many times when I've literally thought and said ‘fuck this’ - much to the detriment of my own words, the universe really does listen, so be careful what you wish for.

A constant eb and flow.

Yet here I am again feeling into that space and still now I just know, the difference being now I see it from a space of more clarity and alignment and with more purpose. It's so easy to get knocked off balance, feel out of alignment, in a constant state of what if, yet it really does depend on where those what if’s are focused. I’ve been so deep into my study and have slowly begun working with clients and it really fills me with so much joy, I know that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing and exactly where I am supposed to be.

Life has a funny way of showing you things sometimes and we get to choose how we see those moments. I believe in so much it makes life so magical and part of that magic is the unknown. If you honestly knew all your steps, let’s face it, it kind of takes the fun out of it all and it would potentially be even more difficult because you wouldn't have a choice in that, in this you do and that's the beauty of it all. We must learn to remember how much joy can be found in not having control, how much love can be shared during times of uncertainty and how much support you can give to not only yourself but to others too.

Interestingly I found my diary I began at the start of lockdown and I wrote myself a cheque with an amount and it said ‘to build a home’ my intention then was a bricks and water type of home, little did I know that cheque was actually for building a home inside of me and that in my eyes is...MAGICK. I feel so incredibly blessed and grateful to have allowed myself the space to go through all of this so I can now begin to lead others and so as it goes for my story... let the unfolding of this next chapter begin.

As I sit here writing this with the sun shining on my face, I feel in complete bliss and at peace with all that is, in this very moment.

Sending you all so much love 💛🙏💛